Since U Been Gone

It’s been a long time since I sat down in front of my well-appointed laptop in the Eastern Standard time zone with these warmer than average temperatures. The past handful of weeks has been spent resting and ignoring. The rest part is easy to explain. Everyone enjoys a good respite.

I definitely respited away.

But the ignoring part… well, that’s an art that takes a lot of work.

It’s also an all-or-nothing pursuit. If one is going to practice the art of neglect, one can’t pick and choose. It has to take over the locus of a person’s mind. Therefore, in ignoring Philadelphia sports and its teams for the past two weeks, I also ignored my running regime, my eating and drinking practices and my computer.

Instead of running for a couple of hours every day, I took a few days off where I sat inside or just hung out. I also went to parties and family gatherings where I indulged in baked goods, crustaceans and red wine, all of which had immediate and delayed affects on my body and mind.

Meanwhile, I pushed aside my computer. Normally, the damn thing seems to be attached as if by undetectable wires like the kind they use in stage shows when the characters suddenly become airborne. But for the last few weeks those wires were cut lest the news I was trying to avoid seeped through.

Needless to say it wasn’t easy. More often than not, sports games are on the TV and not just on the Internets. Plus, people generally like to talk about sports and do so at parties and other types of events where people gather. So when outside of my cocoon of Mose Allison records, Bukowski novels, repeats of "Blue’s Clues," "The Wonder Pets," and "Little Einsteins," and bad Sarah Jessica Parker movies (isn't that an oxymoron?), people tried to engage me in idle banter about Allen Iverson, Jeff Garcia and Ryan Howard.

It was never about Gerald Ford, James Brown, Saddam Hussein or where that Joe dude on “Blue’s Clues” came from, which, of course, is much too heady and challenging for a holiday party setting. Was Brown really “The Hardest Working Man in Show Business” like he claimed? And was the gaffe in the 1976 Presidential debates at the Walnut Street Theater that cost Ford the election to Jimmy Carter?

More importantly, what happened to Steve and his striped green shirt.

Instead, when asked about Alley I, Garcia or Howard, I turned into Owen Wilson in that scene in The Royal Tenenbaums when the TV interviewer asks him about his book, Wildcat…



That’s enough of this silliness. Let’s recap what happened during the holidays that some others may have missed as well:

The Eagles, led by Jeff Garcia, won some big football games. I watched the one on Christmas night with great interest at a holiday party because Garcia’s outing captured the Phillies Scribes Football League for my Lancaster Crackers. For someone who has never owned a winning franchise before, this was a really big deal. Isaac Bruce and Tiki Barber also came through when we needed it most, but it was Garcia who put us over the top and he will always be remembered for that.

Like a schoolboy over an infatuation spurred by a few spins around the gym at the Friday night winter dance, Ryan Howard gave another agent his walking papers. Apparently, Howard is anticipating a big(ger) payday in that not so distant future and wants a representative more suited to gross narcissism at his side.

Who can blame him?

Regardless, for those counting Howard now has gone through two agents in a little more than 1½ years in the league. If I were the next guy I’d be a little worried… better yet, I’d negotiate the new deal, get my cut and give the player his walking papers.

That’s how I roll.

In hockey, the oft-injured Peter Forsberg is still looking for a proper-fitting skate. He also suffered another injury, this one to his groin. For those scoring at home, this is the latest in a cycle of foot-to-groin injuries – with a concussion mixed in – that has kept the star off the ice.

I have nothing witty to write about Forsberg’s injuries, though I wonder if his fitness could become an issue with more time on the shelf.

Finally, the 76ers traded away Iverson, added Andre Miller (and Joe Smith), and immediately won three of their last seven. That gives the Sixers nine victories this season, which means they really have to go into an epic slump in order to equal the worst season in franchise and league history.

Tomorrow: Football musings and Best Bets