Best bets

Last week: 1-2
Year-to-date: 9-7-1

The Eagles really let me down last weekend. Judging from the smoldering cars abandoned on the side of the road, the random fires in barrels doting the landscape and the general malaise of the populace in the Delaware Valley, my guess is that last Sunday’s game let down many of you good folks out there, too.

In retrospect, we were fortunate here in Lancaster that the game was not televised past Chester County. Nevertheless, the mood and news seeped into our locus a like steaming green toxic ooze with the viscose of lava. Because the Eagles couldn’t get out of their own way or solve the Jacksonville Jaguars’ running attack, I suffered my first losing week since the early portion of the season.

I also made a mistake in taking the New York Jets to win instead of the New York Giants.

Oh well… it happens.

But we’re refreshed and ready to go this week. The odds have been glanced at and it’s time to start winning again.

Ready? Let’s go:

Dallas minus 3 over Washington
There’s trouble in the District and it has nothing to do with Tuesday’s election. The ‘Skins are a home ‘dog to a team still soaring after an improbable comeback on national television just a week earlier, not to mention that the team in question can see first place just sitting there like a forgotten wallet left on a bench.

Then again, it’s not so much of an issue of the Cowboys’ “hotness” with their shiny new QB placating to the batbleep crazy receiver. No, the Redskins, well… they aren’t good.

New Orleans minus 1 over Tampa Bay
The Bucs are another home ‘dog that are going down. Sure, they may have won a few games thanks to their steel-toed kicker, but the Bucs face a team that is 7 for its last 8 as a road favorite.

Hey, that was enough to sway me.

Indianapolis minus 1 over New England
We’re taking a road ‘dog this time. We are also hailing the changing of the guard and the tossing of the proverbial monkey off the back. Those proverbial monkeys carry treacherous parasites that infect the depths of a football players’ soul and make him work out extra hard in the summertime.

The only cure is beating a particular opponent a bunch of times until the player becomes fat and complacent and crazy to the point that he will wildly throw passes into double or triple coverage.

Don’t believe me? Just go to Wisconsin sometime this winter. You’ll see it.

Speaking of Wisconsin…

Wisconsin minus 7 over Penn State
Run to the bank. Run like Paul Tergat with Hendrick Ramaala closing in on his tail.